Theres an old saying that if you dream about someone in your family dying, then someone you know will have a baby. My mom and I each had one within the past two weeks, maybe I'm just being superstitous but I'm pretty creeped out.
A little excited for Christmas - pretty sure I know what I'm getting.
She's got the warmest body that I've ever had
Drag the lake, you'll find it full of love
In class, we watched a video on relationship studies, and how most people date other people with the same eye color, hair color, skin tone, etc. If you look at a timeline of someone's ex lovers, you will see a pattern. They pick the same stuff. Most people. Upon hearing this, I laughed one giant gasp of air so hard that my throat locked, sending a narrow spray of Tropicana across my desk and books. In the darkness, I felt my classmates' eyes drift over to me. I held my breath. Everyone settled back on the movie. Then I started to cry.
Some faggot at my school tried to do a rendition of Gossip Girl via myspace, posting blogs about people getting engaged and my friends being pregnant. And they had the audacity to request me.
I feel disgustingly boring lately as if I all I do is lay around and rub my belly and watch bad T.V. shows because, well, that's all I've been doing. To kick back into it, tonight my sister and I will attempt an all nighter. And sometime this weekend, the glow party and a hotel sneak in must take place.
I also have a mini-interview at a pharmacy tomorrow which I am pretty excited about.
I don't know who I think I am snooping around all the time. This is a disaster. aka, someone who used to be a strange mystery has suddenly transformed to the girl who works in a flower shop and is pretty skinny and lets guys go down on her all the time.........
I want us to go to the hotel tonight. I devulged many a details today that I had never devulged to anyone. Big details. I doubt that you are reading this but if you perhaps are I want to thank you six million times for listening and to tell you how hard it was for me not to sob like a bitch in the car. And I wish I invited you over for dinner, lol.
Getting too ahead of myself here, but Joe and I were talking today of getting the old group together for one last hoorah. I know that a lot of people are bullshitting and don't really want to go through with it, but I'm getting this gut feeling that I should just say fuck it and invite everyone over my house one night during break. Really, what's the worst that could happen?... lollll.
I also don't want to go to work. It's too cold to move right now but I'm doing it mainly for the ride there/home. Despite my car being on it's deathbed and the yucky weather, I've been loving every chance I get to drive by myself and rock out. And oh mah gahhhhhddddddd I just updated my zune and for some reason I have games on here, which is really cool, and I can play solataire at work.
I suppose my van and I were one person in another lifetime. I have to take it in tonight and have no vehicle tomorrow, while my mother makes me drink this disgusting medicine that mixes in my water and smells like glue. I also just wrote an essay for a Lycoming application, still wondering why because 1) I know I won't get in and 2) even if I do get in, I know that I won't go. Why do I get myself into these things.
Everyone has been nice and loving for the past two days, I miss everyone, and it didn't help that Ashley went missing for a few days and I cried on the way home from clinicals while Caitie stared and I was relieved when she picked up the phone. I'm laughing at myself while writing this, thinking of when they called me the mother of my friends. I have to fill the void of babies somehow,